Mr. 8B:


Your name, I have no idea; Whether you have a female friend, I may never know; but watching you throw your recycling down the shoot every morning on my way to work is definitely one of the sexiest things I’ve seen since being in New York. (Not just him, but the fact that he recycles—hot). My creepiness reached a critical point the other night when I came home from the clubs and decided that it was time to take action. Sometimes I really question my sanity, but all my friends I told about it thought it was hilarious and the only obvious option when it came to getting him to talk to me.

I wrote him a little note that read, “Mr. 8B, please text me if there is no Mrs. 8B involved.” I’m dying laughing right now just thinking about it! Sometimes I think that I’m soooo clever. I mean, I pretty much am, but at times like this I wonder where I get it. Then I remember… I definitely learn it from my mother. My mom is wonderful, my obsession, and the best mom ever. She definitely has some hilarious tendencies, however, when it comes to men and making the first move. I know that I learned most of my boldness from her, and then probably just picked up some of my own along the way. Normal men (not creepy sex fiends), are all so shy these days though. If women didn’t make the first move, the human race would surely go extinct. 

I waited for him to text me all day yesterday, and by the end of the day, I realized that either 1) he had a serious girlfriend, or 2) he thought I was a serial killer leaving noted evidence before I pounced. I was hoping it was the latter of the two, because it would at least give me a chance. I’m not trying to be a home wrecker during my few month stay in New York. Or maybe I am? They do say that, “girlfriends can easily be replaced.” Or maybe it’s just me that says that? Messed up, but if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.

Anyways, I stopped holding my breath for 8B to text me and decided to have a fun night out with my girlfriends, and my promoter, at the Highline Ballroom. Again, we jumped the line and were given all the free alcohol our hearts could desire. Three girls that were under 21 came with us, and since we have a promoter, he slipped the bouncer a crisp 20, and we were all allowed in no questions asked. Money can’t buy love, but it can sure buy everything else. Who needs love when you can have the world? Not this girl. I keep telling myself that, but it’s such a lie!

I woke up this morning and again thought about my creepy note to Mr. 8B. I then started feeling awkward because what if he knows it’s me?! What if he thinks I’m a freak of nature/stalker? What if I had to endure a painfully awkward elevator ride with him from the 8th floor down? All these bad thoughts were clouding my mind. Just then I got a text from a random number. IT WAS HIM!! He started off the conversation by texting, “What’s up mystery girl? Do you live in the building?” He signed the text –Mr. 8B, and I fell in love all over again. Where to go from here, I have honestly not a clue, but I’m stoked to say that my weird tactics come in handy. I love when things like this work out. I may have been tipsy when planting that note, but I definitely don’t regret it!


Alena Netia Horowitz

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